Finding Your Perfect Wedding Post 8 of 8

This series of posts will start on Apr 15th 2013 and will post every week for 8 weeks.  

The older lady used the universally known signal for “now”, pointing to the ceiling and then pointing to the music guy. The music guy, filled with the nervous emotion of “this is it,” placed his big finger on the play button and pushed down hard. Hard rock and screeching guitar whipped out of the sound system. There was absolute panic on the face of the music guy as everyone turned to look at him. His big fingers hit the stop button so hard the table bowed with the force. Dead silence filled the air for a moment then from the very back of the hall, flying into the room from the hallway outside the big doors, came laughter. Not just any laughter, but big crocodile tears, rolling around on the floor laughter. The 93-ton elephant got up and started to leave the room as understanding washed over the wedding guests. It was the bride. She was almost in the fetal position. The groom, standing in the front of the room, relaxed as he heard the laughter of the love of his life slide down the aisle.

The music guy checked his track number, made the correction, looked at the disapproving older lady for direction and then hit that big play button with a bit of hesitation. The sound of strings dancing to the tune of Canon in D drifted without effort into the air. The guests rose as one, as the happiest of brides, with tears of laughter, slid into view. The over used word: “grace” was absolutely defined as she drifted down the aisle toward her groom.

Thud! Then an “oh my gosh,” and everyone inhaled abruptly. The elephant pounced onto the congregation and demanded to be supported. Then again, laughter and that elephant started to slide back out of the room. The look of shock and instant concern faded from everyone’s face especially the bride’s as her groom slowly got back up, chuckling. He simply stopped breathing; his knees locked and, just as has happened to hundreds of stage performers, he passed out. He got to his feet with contagious laughter that spread to his bride, the officiator, the bridal party, his mother, the music guy, and then, well, everyone.

I was there to capture the event and lock moments into photos but, even as an observer, I could not resist the overwhelming positive energy and began to laugh as I fired away. The rest of the day was full of giggling and laughter. The bride and groom truly enjoyed their wedding. Their guests seemed to feel at ease like everything was supposed to happen the way it happened.

This bride and groom did exactly what every bride and groom should do. They plan for the best and absolutely enjoyed the unexpected. This clearly is not easy to do but, if somehow, someway you can find yourself in this mentality at your wedding, than there’s no question at all that you’re going to have your perfect wedding.

Works Cited

Grimes, Ronald L. Deeply into the Bone: Re-Inventing Rites of Passage. Ewing: University of California Press, 2002. Print.

Lee, Vera. Something Old, Something New. Naperville: Sourcebooks, Inc, 1994. Print.

McBride-Mellinger, Maria. The Perfect Wedding. New York City: Smallwood & Stewart, Inc., 1996. Print.

McDonald, Kerry. Your Unique Wedding. Franklin Lakes: Career Press, 2005. Print.

Pleck, Elizabeth H. and Cele Otnes. Cinderella Dreams: The Allure of the Lavish Wedding. Ewing: University of California Press, 2003. Print.

Stern, Lee. "Wedding Plans?" Fairfield County Business Journal 36.44 (1997): 21-22. Web. 21 January 2013.

Wicoff, Kamy. I Do, But I Don't. Boston: Da Capo Press, 2006. Print.

This series of posts will start on Apr 15th 2013 and will post every week for 8 weeks.  

You know what’s important. You have created your list. You and your fiancé have put together key elements in the details of the planning that scream personality and say who you are or touch your heart deeply. They are already in place so there’s no question that they’re going to be a part of your wedding. Now that you are at this point, you’ve accomplished the important steps of planning your perfect wedding. You are almost done.

Before you were focusing on figuring out what your theme was, putting together your list of things and ideas that are important. Now it’s time to sit back and allow the day to come to you. This is very important.

Sit down with your fiancé and cover your list of personal things that will be making your wedding truly yours. Then have a fun conversation about the wild things that could go wrong. Laugh about them. Joke about how Uncle Sam could get drunk and try to tell one of his jokes at the reception. Talk about the car breaking down as you drive to the church. Go ahead and imagine what it’s going to look like getting Joe out on the dance floor. Keep in mind that your wedding, even though it’s yours, is also a family reunion. It’s a time where people who may never get out of the house at night get a chance to socialize. It’s an opportunity for friends and family to see you as well. They will want to tell you congratulations. All of your friends and family will be hoping this day is every bit as amazing as you dreamed it would be.

Works Cited

Grimes, Ronald L. Deeply into the Bone: Re-Inventing Rites of Passage. Ewing: University of California Press, 2002. Print.

Lee, Vera. Something Old, Something New. Naperville: Sourcebooks, Inc, 1994. Print.

McBride-Mellinger, Maria. The Perfect Wedding. New York City: Smallwood & Stewart, Inc., 1996. Print.

McDonald, Kerry. Your Unique Wedding. Franklin Lakes: Career Press, 2005. Print.

Pleck, Elizabeth H. and Cele Otnes. Cinderella Dreams: The Allure of the Lavish Wedding. Ewing: University of California Press, 2003. Print.

Stern, Lee. "Wedding Plans?" Fairfield County Business Journal 36.44 (1997): 21-22. Web. 21 January 2013.

Wicoff, Kamy. I Do, But I Don't. Boston: Da Capo Press, 2006. Print.

Finding Your Perfect Wedding Post 6 of 8

This series of posts will start on Apr 15th 2013 and will post every week for 8 weeks.  

Talk to each other about the location of your wedding and whether or not it is going to be a place that is personal or a place that is more functional. The nice thing about locations is that you can get married in an array of different kinds of locations.

“List the places that excite you: a historic home or a museum, a garden, loft, photographer’s studio, townhouse, yacht or ferry, even the marina. Be inspired by your surroundings: a mountain lodge, the beach, a winery; if you met at college, look at campus halls, the library, the Dean’s office” (McBride-Mellinger 66). The place you choose to get married does not have to cost you anything. You may want to get married at a friend’s ranch or in the backyard of a relative. There are parks all over the US where you can reserve a space for a few hours. Some of these locations that are free are more beautiful and functional than a lot of wedding venues and it’s okay if those places inspire you and you want to be married there. Try not to think that because you’re not spending money on the venue your guests may consider you to be cheap or poor. If the location moves you, it will move your guests as well.

One of the major challenges that brides have is getting around their vision of what the venue should look like. Many brides will go venue hopping until they reach the point where all of the venues seem to run together. Go for what you want, but in the case of your wedding venue, consider allowing the location to speak to you and help shape your vision rather than forcing the venue to mold to your ideal.

If you can allow the venue to inspire you and your vision, you will have the perfect venue regardless of how much it cost. The idea here is that a venue is not like your dress or your cake, which can be created to be exactly what you dreamed. The best approach for you to find the perfect space is to allow yourself to love the space you found.

There’s a lot to be said about this type of mentality, regardless of if you are looking at a venue or allowing your wedding to come together organically. The idea that you’re “forcing it” usually only applies when multiple situations are not working out. If every step you take in the direction that you’re going seems to be more and more challenging, than you’re probably forcing it. This is one of the reasons most weddings have serious problems on its wedding day. It’s simply a frame of mind because things don’t always go the way you planned.

There were signs, a few weeks before our wedding, that for all my planning, note taking, three ring binders, and things to do lists (not to mention prolific check writing), and despite the fact that for many months I had expended the better part of my talents and brainpower on constructing a perfect three day weekend for me, Andrew, our family, and our friends… things were not going to go exactly as we had planned.

Two weeks before the wedding, for example, the copy place I’d chosen to assemble our wedding favors—books I put together containing quotes, song lyrics, movie lines, poetry, and original thoughts about love and marriage, solicited (strong armed) from our guests—failed to use the Cornflower blue paper I provided, churning them out on good old white typing paper instead. And then there was the owner’s insistence, when I walked in to pick up the corrected books, on saying: ‘Don’t do it!’ (He had a bitter divorce he said. (Wicoff 267)

These things really do happen and that is okay. It really is. You are the one getting married and this is your wedding.

Works Cited

Grimes, Ronald L. Deeply into the Bone: Re-Inventing Rites of Passage. Ewing: University of California Press, 2002. Print.

Lee, Vera. Something Old, Something New. Naperville: Sourcebooks, Inc, 1994. Print.

McBride-Mellinger, Maria. The Perfect Wedding. New York City: Smallwood & Stewart, Inc., 1996. Print.

McDonald, Kerry. Your Unique Wedding. Franklin Lakes: Career Press, 2005. Print.

Pleck, Elizabeth H. and Cele Otnes. Cinderella Dreams: The Allure of the Lavish Wedding. Ewing: University of California Press, 2003. Print.

Stern, Lee. "Wedding Plans?" Fairfield County Business Journal 36.44 (1997): 21-22. Web. 21 January 2013.

Wicoff, Kamy. I Do, But I Don't. Boston: Da Capo Press, 2006. Print.

Finding Your Perfect Wedding Post 5 of 8

This series of posts will start on Apr 15th 2013 and will post every week for 8 weeks.  

There are traditions we do in the USA, which we take for granted. The white wedding dress did not become popular because it represents purity but because some upper-class brides wanted to flaunt their wealth by wearing a light fabric that could only be worn once. In fact, the color of your dress is more likely to change depending on where you get married not whether you have had premarital messing-arounds. If you were getting married in Spain you would be wearing black, in China and Islamic cultures your dress would be red, in Russia you would be in blue because it has long been a symbol of purity (Lee 38).

Brides have been saying “I do” in the dress colors above for many, many years because that was what was expected of them and appropriate for their culture. There are so many things that brides do today because it is a requirement that they couldn’t change. I have seen regrets in some of the brides and grooms that I have worked with when they chose to do something at their wedding just because they feel like they had to follow tradition.

If bucking the ideas of the past is going to make you happy, do it. This is your day. Just be ready to explain to grandma why your guests didn’t yell “Mazel Tov” as your Christian minister pronounced you man and wife. This thought alone may just move you to invite some guests and not invite others.

If you haven’t done so, it’s a good idea to sit down with your fiancé and write out the list of super important things about your wedding. 

Works Cited

Grimes, Ronald L. Deeply into the Bone: Re-Inventing Rites of Passage. Ewing: University of California Press, 2002. Print.

Lee, Vera. Something Old, Something New. Naperville: Sourcebooks, Inc, 1994. Print.

McBride-Mellinger, Maria. The Perfect Wedding. New York City: Smallwood & Stewart, Inc., 1996. Print.

McDonald, Kerry. Your Unique Wedding. Franklin Lakes: Career Press, 2005. Print.

Pleck, Elizabeth H. and Cele Otnes. Cinderella Dreams: The Allure of the Lavish Wedding. Ewing: University of California Press, 2003. Print.

Stern, Lee. "Wedding Plans?" Fairfield County Business Journal 36.44 (1997): 21-22. Web. 21 January 2013.

Wicoff, Kamy. I Do, But I Don't. Boston: Da Capo Press, 2006. Print.

Finding Your Perfect Wedding Post 4 of 8

This series of posts will start on Apr 15th 2013 and will post every week for 8 weeks.  

There are major details in every wedding that are very important because the bride and groom have a connection to those particular details. For your wedding to run very smoothly and be an absolute success, you need to lock down the details that are most important. You could refer to those details as your theme.

Every wedding is a theme wedding. You should incorporate all of the same elements of a “themed wedding” into the planning of your wedding just as if your theme was wildly unique, including your wedding planner being on board with your theme/special details. Your theme may be very traditional but it should include all of the nuances that make the wedding truly yours.

It’s important that not only your wedding planner but all of your vendors are up to speed with the details that make your day your theme wedding. “The first step in planning a wedding is to choose the type of theme that interests you” (McDonald 188). Even if you have skipped this first step, you can still do it now but make sure you do it. It’s that important.

Consider thinking that even though you’re not doing a casino night, a Mardi Gras wedding, a dance club type of theme, or a wedding that is not going to follow suit of all of the weddings that have been done in your church for years, your theme should contain the details that are really personal to you and your fiancé. So pick your theme: is it going to be dandelions like we learned about from the bride in the story at the beginning of this paper or are you going to build your theme around bringing all of your guests together? These little details are what make your day special, not just to you, but to your guests, especially if you have a large family. I attended one such wedding where the family worked together to make the day special.

The smell of spicy yet sweet barbeque sauce reminded me of walking into an organic spice and herb shop and that first whiff of freshness that washes over you as you slide through the door. I grabbed my plate and worked my way down the table. Next to each dish was a small card that had a name on it. Many of the names had the same last name, so I assumed they were all family members that created this barrage of a sweet and amazing collection of vegetables, fruit, beef, pork and things that I was not sure what they were, but looked wonderful.

A stout, smiley, sensitive, strong looking man leaned over and said, “This one is mine,” with a ton of pride in his deep voice. I said, “It looks great.” He said, “Don’t forget to vote.” I asked, “Vote?” He pointed to the end of the table at some small sheets of paper. I went over, grabbed my ballot, and looked at the contenders. They appeared to be all the people that had contributed creatively to the overall feast.

The DJ picked up the microphone, raised the fader and opened with the words that everyone wanted to hear. “We have tallied the results!” He made some sad joke about a hanging chad and then called out the winners of the categories. Each winner came up and got some kind of basket from the bride and groom with different assorted goods in it. The people around me were ecstatic, even passionate, about who clocked in the most votes.

I noticed that members from both families were congratulating each other and talking about what an amazing job they did with their particular dish. There were recipes exchanged along with phone numbers and suggestions on all kinds of cooking tips thrown back and forth. The conversations were lively and, even though half of the people that showed up didn’t have a clue who the other half was when they got there, the event was full of unity.

The cost to the bride and groom for some of the best food I have ever had at a wedding was $120 in prizes and ballot copies. Plus, the bride and groom accomplished something that was unique and special and even though the focus during the dinner wasn’t on them, they gained an enormous amount of satisfaction from watching their family members and friends have a great time. This was their personal theme to a very traditional wedding.

The key here, again, is to know what kind of theme you’re going to use. Kerry McDonald suggests the sky is the limit. “… Decide on the type of venture wedding that suits you. Some couples choose their wedding adventures based on similar sporting interests or memories of first dates. If you and your partner met while bungee jumping, then why not tie the knot propelling off a bridge?” (190)

Taking the leap and getting hitched as you fall might not be on your list but, wow, it would be something everyone that came to your wedding would never forget. It is also something your guests would talk about to their friends. They may start by saying, “You would not believe what happened at the wedding I just came from,” or “I just went to the craziest wedding ever. These two goof balls jumped…” Either way, you left an impression.

The thing to keep in mind is your desire to do something out of the ordinary and this is something special that will live in your heart forever. Even if what you desire is something private and relatively small, it is super important just the same. Make it happen regardless of what your “theme” is; it should be there at YOUR wedding and you shouldn’t worry about what others will think.

Works Cited

Grimes, Ronald L. Deeply into the Bone: Re-Inventing Rites of Passage. Ewing: University of California Press, 2002. Print.

Lee, Vera. Something Old, Something New. Naperville: Sourcebooks, Inc, 1994. Print.

McBride-Mellinger, Maria. The Perfect Wedding. New York City: Smallwood & Stewart, Inc., 1996. Print.

McDonald, Kerry. Your Unique Wedding. Franklin Lakes: Career Press, 2005. Print.

Pleck, Elizabeth H. and Cele Otnes. Cinderella Dreams: The Allure of the Lavish Wedding. Ewing: University of California Press, 2003. Print.

Stern, Lee. "Wedding Plans?" Fairfield County Business Journal 36.44 (1997): 21-22. Web. 21 January 2013.

Wicoff, Kamy. I Do, But I Don't. Boston: Da Capo Press, 2006. Print.

Finding Your Perfect Wedding Post 3 of 8

This series of posts will start on Apr 15th 2013 and will post every week for 8 weeks.  

“If they don’t get here in the next ten minutes, I am going to call the owner and shoot them!” the mother of the bride, an older lady dressed in a wonderful pink, professional looking outfit, screamed at her niece. Her niece was obviously flabbergasted, terrified of having to repeat what this woman had said to the person on the other end of the phone. The woman was pacing back and forth because David’s Bridal forgot to include the shoes they had purchased for the bride. Her hands were red and wet, clenched tight. The whole room, the whole environment, felt as though we were 150 feet under water, with pressure collapsing in on all of us.

I had just met this person an hour earlier. At the time I met her, she seemed reasonable and calm. I could see that her daughter was about ready to break down in tears. I was the only one in the room not emotionally connected to this situation.

I asked the bride’s mother if I could help. Through sheer embarrassment, I think, there was no way she could be extremely rude or mean to me, a complete stranger. I asked her niece to bring me the phone she was holding in her hand. I could tell she was afraid to talk to the person on the other end of the line for fear she wasn’t going to say the right thing and become the next victim of her aunt.       

I asked the person if they had the shoes there. She said yes. I asked her if she was the store manager, and she said she was the manager on duty. I then politely asked her how quickly she could get the shoes to us, knowing that we were 45 minutes away from the store and the wedding started in 50 minutes. She said it would take 30 minutes before someone came in that could bring the shoes to us. I told her that simply was not going to be “doable”. We needed the shoes and the wedding started soon. She had someone that could leave right away but they couldn’t come all the way out because they were getting off duty, so I quickly arranged for her to have the person bring the shoes half way and I sent one of my staff that was not busy to meet them.

That moment, you could see the absolute frustration flow from the mother’s face onto the floor and soak into the carpet.

The overwhelming feeling of having the perfect shoes made this woman completely become someone that she wasn’t. She had no idea the kind of frustration and pressure she was applying to those around her, including her daughter. It has always amazed me how individuals can self-destruct because of his or her desire to have the “perfect” anything. Our emotions get involved and we start becoming extremely counterproductive. In this situation, the mom was so fixated on her daughter wearing the perfect shoes, that she put herself in a mental state where she couldn’t find a solution.

Television shows and magazines tend to focus on brides being out of control. Bridezilla is a well-known term; however, the infamous bridezilla is fairly rare. It tends to be the bride’s mother or aunt or maybe even the groom who somehow becomes a real challenge because the bride is not getting what they perceived she wants. They know this is her perfect day and they desperately want to make sure she gets everything of which she has always dreamed.

Lee Stern suggests that the easiest way to prevent your family and friends from getting involved emotionally with the behind-the-scenes that go wrong is to hire a wedding planner (21). Wedding planners are not always the least expensive option. However, I have met some wedding planners who negotiated their prices with wedding vendors down to the point where their fee fits into the savings that you are receiving from booking those particular vendors on your own. At that point, the cost is the same.

The other advantage of working with a wedding planner who has a group of vendors with which she or he is comfortable, is that even though they may be coming from multiple companies they are a group of vendors who have more than likely worked together before. Vendors that work well together can really make your wedding go smoothly.

If you choose to go that route, the important decision is going to be choosing a wedding planner that you know is going to be very good at their job. I have seen wedding planners ruin a wedding because they had the notes for a wedding that was happening the following day and they gave the vendors wrong information.

When looking for a planner ask them how many weddings they have done. You want to know if they have the experience you’re looking for up front. See if they have references, but keep in mind that your prospective vendors are not going to give you a reference that they know is bad. Also, you have to wonder if the reference is their cousin. The best way for you to know that this planner is the right planner for you is to just talk to them, see if you feel like they are professional, and they have it together. If they show up to your meeting late and unorganized, you should expect them to handle your wedding the same way. It is also a big deal if you think that they have a bad attitude.

In August of 2010, we had a wedding where the caterer walked up to the bride with a check for $6000 and told her they were leaving before they even finished unpacking. The bride didn’t know what to say but okay. I chased him down and asked why he was leaving and he said he couldn’t deal with the planner she hired. He had worked with her before and it was not a good experience. My team hated her too, but I told her long ago to leave us alone and she got the message. I asked the caterer to wait and see what I could do. I talked to the bride and she agreed to sit in while I talked to the planner. I told the planner that it would be best if she just left and my team (Photographer, Mobile DJ, Videographers and a helper) would handle the event. She was hurt and angry but I cut a deal with the bride. We wouldn’t charge anything to do this and the planner would still get paid. The wedding was amazing and the food was scrumptious. Fortunately, I never had to work for that planner again.         

Works Cited

Grimes, Ronald L. Deeply into the Bone: Re-Inventing Rites of Passage. Ewing: University of California Press, 2002. Print.

Lee, Vera. Something Old, Something New. Naperville: Sourcebooks, Inc, 1994. Print.

McBride-Mellinger, Maria. The Perfect Wedding. New York City: Smallwood & Stewart, Inc., 1996. Print.

McDonald, Kerry. Your Unique Wedding. Franklin Lakes: Career Press, 2005. Print.

Pleck, Elizabeth H. and Cele Otnes. Cinderella Dreams: The Allure of the Lavish Wedding. Ewing: University of California Press, 2003. Print.

Stern, Lee. "Wedding Plans?" Fairfield County Business Journal 36.44 (1997): 21-22. Web. 21 January 2013.

Wicoff, Kamy. I Do, But I Don't. Boston: Da Capo Press, 2006. Print.

Finding Your Perfect Wedding Post 2 of 8

This series of posts will start on Apr 15th 2013 and will post every week for 8 weeks.  

 Let’s start by asking ourselves why we care about the perfect wedding? I mean really, does a quality wedding mean that you are going to have a quality marriage? Absolutely not! Are you getting married because your parents are telling you that it is the right thing to do and that this rite of passage is the seal that will set you up to have a happily wedded life? Maybe. What if you get married within a belief system that requires you to do all kinds of traditions, then later on in life, you drift away from that belief system; does that mean that the actual ceremony itself had no meaning and is no longer valuable to you? More than likely, no. 

   A wedding is ‘the most important day of your life,’ the manuals declare, flying defiantly in the face of divorce statistics. Through birth we pass unable to remember our emergence into daylight. And upon stumbling into the darkness of death, there may be no self to recollect the ceremonial occasion. But in marrying, we are active agents capable of recollecting and even designing the occasion. If we are typical, we  ritually mark the births of our children, and we turn over the funerals of our elders to professionals, but when we marry, we anticipate the event, help plan it, and remember it afterward with the help of photographs and videotapes. 

   The reason why we get married, regardless of all the hype, all the money, all the pampering, frustration, and planning, is so that we can stand in front of people that we care about and publicly make a commitment to another person. It’s that simple. The problem is that we take that for granted and we focus on all of the other things that we have been dreaming about since we were old enough to dream about our perfect wedding. 

   Very, very rarely does the actual commitment part of this day go wrong. The things that go wrong have absolutely nothing to do with why this ceremony is happening. However, it becomes our focus and through that, it becomes important. I know that the key to the perfect wedding has nothing to do with all of the traditional and cultural requirements stated by every one of the “how to” books and the “must have... for your wedding” articles that I have sorted through before I sat down and started writing. It has nothing to do with what I have even said over and over, “planning is the key.” Planning is important for the traditional, cultural requirements and the wild details, which is what we all focus on, but the real key to a perfect wedding is whether or not you are ready for that moment.

    That moment when you are standing up there, staring this other person in the face and committing with all your heart to their soul. If you are ready, that moment alone trumps everything else that has happened that day or will happen that day. If you find the absolute utter joy in this moment, you will be alone with all your friends watching and light as a feather. 

    Let’s assume that you are ready or will be when the time comes and talk about the things that can make your day incredible. Keep in mind, though, the true key to the perfect wedding has nothing to do with money or style: it is that moment. Everything else is just fun! If you can hold true to that, even a drunk DJ falling over a table could be funny (as long as he is done for the night and someone is there to drive him and his gear home). 

Works Cited

Grimes, Ronald L. Deeply into the Bone: Re-Inventing Rites of Passage. Ewing: University of California Press, 2002. Print.

Lee, Vera. Something Old, Something New. Naperville: Sourcebooks, Inc, 1994. Print.

McBride-Mellinger, Maria. The Perfect Wedding. New York City: Smallwood & Stewart, Inc., 1996. Print.

McDonald, Kerry. Your Unique Wedding. Franklin Lakes: Career Press, 2005. Print.

Pleck, Elizabeth H. and Cele Otnes. Cinderella Dreams: The Allure of the Lavish Wedding. Ewing: University of California Press, 2003. Print.

Stern, Lee. "Wedding Plans?" Fairfield County Business Journal 36.44 (1997): 21-22. Web. 21 January 2013.

Wicoff, Kamy. I Do, But I Don't. Boston: Da Capo Press, 2006. Print.

This series of posts will start on Apr 15th 2013 and will post every week for 8 weeks.  

    Clouds are dancing through the deepest of blue skies on July 7, 2007. The sun has created an amazing 77 degrees. There is a slight

breeze in the air, feathering in the aroma from the mint field that is just over the fence from your grandparents’ huge backyard. This is not the first wedding that your grandparents’ yard has seen. It seems like everyone that is important to you in your family has gotten married there. You are getting ready in the white tent placed perfectly in one corner of the yard. Your whole life, you have envisioned this day. You are finally alone for a few moments and you calmly sit down on the most comfortable red velvet settee. There on the table is the bouquet you have dreamed about your whole life. 

    This bouquet has the combination of every flower that you have always adored. The look and smell of the bouquet is intoxicating. The white roses and gardenias compliment the edges of the pink Asiatic lilies. The florist was offended and frustrated when you told them that your compliment to this piece of art was dandelions growing in your grandparents’ backyard. 

   Your grandparents never had a lot of money. Your grandfather was a hopeless romantic and had passed away just five short years ago. Every morning he would get up before your grandmother and, if there were dandelions in his backyard, he would pick a bouquet, put them in this old ceramic coffee cup and place them on the kitchen table, just for her. Those dandelions in your bouquet mean more to you than almost anything else that you have planned as part of your wedding day. 

   “Planning this type of event clearly has profane aspects. Nevertheless, it involves a few sacred objects and sacred moments that are unusual and extraordinary and that transcend normal routine. In the wedding context, some brides even claim that items seem to magically reveal themselves as they shop … [and] help fulfill the fantasies for their wedding day”. Your perfect wedding requires you to focus on what is very important to you and your wedding day. Pleck and Otnes are right: go out into your world pay close attention to the little things that are sacred to you and your fiancé. The guests that are at your wedding may not even notice these little things. Perhaps only the people closest to you recognize the significance of the details that you have put into planning your wedding that mean the most to you. It’s okay. These things drive the flawlessness of the day. These details don’t have to be objects. They could be a small ritual that you and your fiancé have together. They could be the way you hold each other’s hand. It can be as simple as a color that you both like or remind you of a moment that you spent together.

   You will have to make sacrifices based on your budget and you are going to need to sift through a ton of whirling information. You will need to maintain a clear understanding of what you want and do your best to find the vendors and products that you will need to accomplish this task. In the fallowing blog posts you will find information that will help you sort through the cacophony to create the wedding of your dreams.

Works Cited

Grimes, Ronald L. Deeply into the Bone: Re-Inventing Rites of Passage. Ewing: University of California Press, 2002. Print.

Lee, Vera. Something Old, Something New. Naperville: Sourcebooks, Inc, 1994. Print.

McBride-Mellinger, Maria. The Perfect Wedding. New York City: Smallwood & Stewart, Inc., 1996. Print.

McDonald, Kerry. Your Unique Wedding. Franklin Lakes: Career Press, 2005. Print.

Pleck, Elizabeth H. and Cele Otnes. Cinderella Dreams: The Allure of the Lavish Wedding. Ewing: University of California Press, 2003. Print.

Stern, Lee. "Wedding Plans?" Fairfield County Business Journal 36.44 (1997): 21-22. Web. 21 January 2013.

Wicoff, Kamy. I Do, But I Don't. Boston: Da Capo Press, 2006. Print.